A constant sinking feeling
and the emotional turmoil
that you are the only one left in the whole world,
all alone, devastated;
Not a soul around
to hold you up, to save you.
And the realization that
you are not sick. You are just in another bad phase called being alive
Yet wanting to end all of it;
Eventually, leaving you broken beyond repair.
The feeling of being left out and stuck;
And the knowledge that it is all within you,
You are the creator and the destroyer.
Yet, being unable to move an inch from where you are,
like an invisible force pushing you even further down the dungeons.
The persistent nervous ticking in your head
telling you to smile and forget
and move ahead,
to get up and run.
But, you are still there,
lying motionless.
Your body a mere bundle of mass and bones,
ready to collapse;
Chipped and charred,
with a hundred scars;
Waiting for,
Just a call, a hand to hold
to spring back to life;
a life that you always dream of,
a life full of life,
And not a life
where,
living is just being alive.
-Aruna, 10-09-2020
ThoughtsIJot 